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Olympics: London’s Presentation at the Closing Ceremonies

Sorry, London. Your presentation was lame.

Remember China’s presentation during the Athen closing ceremonies? After the classic and austere white of Athens, China came bursting in with acrobats and lion dancers. The performers shot vivid reds and golds into the pasty monochrome of the Greek infield. And with that performance, people were psyched about the Chinese games.

London came in with a double-decker bus and a dozen or two dancers. Now no one is going to compete with the sheer manpower supplied by Beijing, but comparatively, this effort was a little sad. With all the colors provided by the Chinese, the grays and blacks of London’s dancers ended up dropping the mood. The modernity of the tableau was a let down after the romantic and epic scenes from the Chinese.

Ah well. We’ll just have to wait four years for the official final product. Luckily, I don’t think anyone is expecting England to challenge Beijing in terms of spectacle.

I did realize that had the double-decker bus opened up with the “wolf, wolf” sound to reveal the Tardis, I would have completely lost my s—.

For some great Olympics inspired tomfoolery, check out the Guinea Pig Olympics.

Olympics: Underaged? Chinese Gymnasts

First, congratulations to the US Women’s National Soccer Team for upsetting the strong Brazilians for Olympic gold. I was among the doubters, but the team came through. Julie Foudy impressed me with her sideline reporting. She actually listened to the answers and built follow-ups based on them. Imagine that!

Now about these gymnasts. I held off commenting on this issue because I wanted to give China the benefit of the doubt. Now though, the International Olympic Committee has officially opened an investigation into the age of one gymnast, He Kexin. If she is found ineligible, then China’s team gold should be returned. They won it with her so her loss needs to be their loss.

Incredible.

And that’s why I wanted to think better of the whole thing despite all the evidence. First, I find it difficult to tell how old any of these gymnasts are just by looking at them. We all know that gymnastics does weird stuff to growing girls. Yes, she looks too young to me too, but …

Second, how does China expect to pull off such fraud in a marque sport? Just attempting it would be a huge insult to all the competitors, not just to the US athletes. This level of dishonor seems incongruous to what we’ve been told about the new China. NBC keeps telling us that the Chinese consider these games to be the most important event of their modern history.

Third, I absolutely believe that China could field a perfectly competitive legitimate team. And finally, the subterfuge would have to be forever. If any evidence came up in the future, the medals could be stripped years down the road. There is too much to lose.

Thumbing your nose at, and then lying about, the rules is a huge slur. There may be those who think as Owen Slot does—that this uproar is a case of American sour grapes. But it’s not. It’s about blatant cheating that, if proven, it will shame an entire movement, people, nation.

Remember the Chinese factory owner who committed suicide during the lead paint recalls?

This is about authorities cheating. The fact that it is in a sport where adults are controlling children just makes it that much more skeevy.

Personally, I think the evidence exists that this girl (if not some of the others) is underage. The IOC needs to conduct this investigation to its end and apply the proper consequences. If that is the outcome, I hope China will realize that all this was brought about by a few of their citizens and that most of the world is not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater. This has been an exciting, inspirational, and magnificent Olympic Games.

And perhaps that’s the real reasons I didn’t mention this seemingly obvious flouting of the rules. A few private decision makers are going to sully a national effort. And I don’t think the US gymnasts are going to fair any better with it. Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson are pretty well set in their reputations. Now, in every biography and highlight reel, this controversy will be mentioned. For some of the lesser known girls, they may eventually be able to say that they are Olympic gold medalists, but there’s always a chance that the listener will say, “Oh yeah, the Chinese got disqualified didn’t they? I remember that.”

This is not about gold at all costs for either the Chinese or the Americans. This is about fairness, sport, and the Olympic spirit.

Office Supplies by Schoolio von Hoolio

Schoolio von Hoolio by Office Max

Browsing through Office Max one day, I couldn’t help but notice all the back-to-school supplies by Schoolio von Hoolio. It’s obviously a fussied-up generic brand from Office Max, but … seriously?

Schoolio von Hoolio?