Ms. Smarty Pants Know It All

This is the seventh episode in my rewatch of the eight X-Files episodes that Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz have called essential viewing for the movie: the Pilot, Beyond the Sea, The Host, Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose, Memento Mori, Post Modern Prometheus, Bad Blood, and Milagro.

The plot set-up: Mulder and Scully go to Chaney, Texas, to investigate a series of cow and tourist exsanguinations.

Teaser: A kid goes running through a fog-filled forest. He’s chased by a mysterious figure who finally catches the kid and drives a stake into his heart. The reveal is that Mulder is the killer, and the vampire he thinks he’s destroyed has fake plastic vampire teeth inserts. It’s a great, dramatic, action-packed start. It makes you say, as Mulder did, “Oh, sh–”

When we come back after the commercial break, Mark Snow’s music tells us right off that not everything is going to be serious. When Mulder beats up the garbage can, we know something is up.

This episode is written by Vince Gilligan. Philes call him Uber!Vince. After Morgan and Wong (”Beyond the Sea“) left the show, and with Darin Morgan (”Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose“) being such a slow writer, the fans needed someone to step in as the go-to-guy. And Vince Gilligan sure stepped up. One of the major things that differentiated his scripts from the others’ is the amount of teamwork by Mulder and Scully. Usually at the end, both Mulder and Scully contributed to the success of, or at least to the resolution of, the case. And that’s what happens here in “Bad Blood.”

It’s almost pointless to write a review of this episode. It’s practically note perfect.

“Bad Blood” takes the he-said/she-said storytelling technique and applies it to Mulder and Scully trying to write a field report. We see Mulder staking the guy in the teaser. Now, each of the characters in turn will tell us how they got to that point. The only negative thing I would say about the episode is that Mulder comes off goofier than Scully. So I wouldn’t say that it is a 50/50 representation of the partnership.

And the episode is funny. No, really funny. Not just humorous or amusing. Funny—all the way through—except for one really scary part.

Connections to the movie? I would say the partnership dynamic. It’s revealing that in her version, Mulder kind of steamrolls her and considers her a tool to further the investigation. He even forgets her name in his excitement to keep going. It’s also revealing that in his version, he’s a little afraid of her. But through it all, there’s a trust and a reliance to this very deep partnership. Go, Uber!Vince!

Notables:

• Luke Wilson plays Sheriff Hartwell, who is either smoking hot or not depending on who is telling the story at that point.
• You can see Arlene Pileggi, the wife of Mitch Pileggi (Skinner), in the role of Arlene, Skinner’s assistant. Arlene Pileggi was already Gillian Anderson’s stand-in on the series when she met her future husband.

For as many times as I’ve seen this episode, I’ve never caught this gaff. When Mulder is breaking down a wooden chair in preparation for going after the vampire, someone’s hand enters the shot to lay a ready-made stake on top of the pile so Mulder can grab it and run off.

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This is the sixth episode in my rewatch of the eight X-Files episodes that Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz have called essential viewing for the movie: the Pilot, Beyond the Sea, The Host, Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose, Memento Mori, Post Modern Prometheus, Bad Blood, and Milagro.

The plot set-up: Mulder received a letter from a woman living in a small town. She claims to be once again pregnant under mysterious circumstances. Since another mother on Jerry Springer said that Agent Mulder came to see her werewolf baby, she thought he may want to visit and investigate her circumstances.

Teaser: We go into black and white, just like the classic monster stories. Unlike the classic monster stories, we get our first Cher song.

I really want to like this episode. It’s written and directed by Chris Carter. It is an homage episode to many classic monster tales, especially Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, which is also titled The Modern Prometheus. And there are so many great Mulder and Scully moments.

But I just can’t get over how the horrors of the heinous crimes committed are played for laughs. I have little sympathy for the monster and none for the monster’s family. “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose” has comedy within it, and “Bad Blood” is straight out funny, but both those episodes treated their crimes seriously. Here, Chris Carter tries to turn out an inappropriately happy ending.

It’s rather like going to see Mozart’s opera Don Giovanni and trying to enjoy the first act as a light-hearted comedy about a serial rapist. Perhaps I’m just not post-modern enough for all this.

I try to not give away too much plot in my write-ups, but here, I’ll have to provide the outcome as a context for my opinions. Basically, the monster (The Great Mutato) is the result of a botched genetic experiment. The monster’s adopted father tries to replicate the procedure to create a mate or companion for his disfigured son.

This procedure involves gassing women in their houses, and then impregnating them with animal DNA.

Ha! Isn’t that funny?

Shouldn’t such an action be rewarded with a celebratory kum-bi-ya Cher concert? Come on, the monster danced while he was trespassing in the unconscious women’s houses. Surely that makes him loveable.

And this is just one of the reasons why, as I’ve said before, Chris Carter trying to focus on a Scully story is a dangerous thing. If you haven’t watched XF all the way through, just imagine how well he handled Scully’s abduction and medical rape over the years.

Ok, calming down now.

One storytelling moment that I just don’t understand is that everything was moving towards a depressing but criminally viable ending. Everyone who did wrong was arrested.

And then Mulder says that the ending is wrong. He says, “Dr Frankenstein pays for his evil ambitions, yes. But the monster is supposed to escape, to go search for his bride.” This is not how either the novel or the original film ended. I’m not sure what he is referencing, but it’s a real clunker to throw in there just to tag on the inappropriate ending.

I’m not sure that Chris Carter understands that the label modern references a set of ideas rather than any specific time period.

Notables:

• Chris Owens, who would later go on to play Special Agent Jeffrey Spender, is the Great Mutato.
• You get to see full-on skeptical, disapproving Scully for much of the first act. Man, she got good at this.
• This homage to monster stories contained weird rural characters, a mad scientist, a mob of angry villagers complete with torches, and of course, a misunderstood monster.
• There’s an interesting running gag about light bulbs over our agents’ heads.
• The episode ends in another fan favorite sequence when Mulder and Scully dance into a freeze frame.

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Whether you decide to play hooky one day or if you are visiting without a lot to spend, here’s a sample itinerary for how to spend an almost cost-free Tuesday getting to know some of Chicago. Your expenses will be for food and beverages only. I’ve listed some low-cost yet vacation-friendly options at the bottom of this article.

First stop: Millennium Park has recently surpassed Navy Pier as Chicago’s most popular tourist attraction. It’s right along Michigan Avenue so you’ll get to see some great buildings and a lot of action. There are temporary art exhibits that switch out, and then there are the regular interactive public art pieces.

Cloud Gate is a shiny, reflective orb that looks like a bean. And everyone calls it “the Bean.” It may sound hokey, but you’ll get lost in it. Trust me. The Crown Fountain is a great place to people watch. There’s a thin layer of water between the towers. You’re welcome to take off your shoes and walk through it. On a hot day, you’ll have to watch out for the kids that absolutely love this place. It helps that the faces on the towers spit a spout of water every so often.

Second stop: Navy Pier, which is now the second most visited place in the city. It’s basically like the Mall of America, but it gets you great views of Lake Michigan and the city’s shoreline.

Walk one block to 25 E. Washington. Look for trolley stop signs showing a yellow star. This is a stop for the Chicago Free Trolley system. Ride it to Navy Pier.

Over the years, the Free Trolley has really gotten popular. If you want to save on the cash, be prepared to spend in terms of time.

Stroll along Navy Pier. Take pictures of the city. The Smith Museum of Stained Glass Windows is very classy and very free.

Third stop: The Rush Hour Concert at St. James Cathedral (Wabash and Huron). Leave Navy Pier around 4:15 to get there for the light refreshments that start at 5:15. The music starts at 5:45.

Get on the Free Trolley’s Blue Square line and ride to the Rush Street stop. Walk about four blocks to the cathedral.

After spending all day walking around in the sun, how about relaxing in a lovely, cool setting with some beautiful music? The Rush Hour organization offers under-an-hour classical and world music sessions every summer Tuesday.

Fourth and final stop: The Museum of Contemporary Art is open until 8:00 pm and is free all day. And they have free jazz on the terrace.

Walk four more blocks northeast to the museum. Or, if classical music is not your thing, you can transfer to the Free Trolley’s Red Circle line at Michigan Avenue and ride that up. You’ll get to see the great shopping street in Chicago with all the high-dollar names.

The MCA is a smaller museum with three floors of smaller galleries and two main showcase rooms. The free jazz starts at 5:30, and people get there early to fill up the terrace seating. Standing around the terrace is actually very noisy with a lot of people talking. The lawn is the better choice. You’re not going to get great sound quality anywhere, but it really is nice to lay on grass in the middle of the city while the urbanites jog like crazy in the park behind you and all the cars are still scurrying their way home.

Even though it’s outside, the sun sets behind the MCA building leaving the lawn in the shade. It turns out really well. Here’s a picture I took on my back of the Ritz-Carlton Residences (right), Hancock Building (center), and Water Tower Place (left). By the way, on the day I took this picture, I walked by the Ritz and saw Stedman Graham getting into a taxi. I’m proud I didn’t gawk.

Now how about the food?

There are plenty of convenience stores along your route. Try to pick up your drinks from the Walgreens or CVSs to save money.

Breakfast: I don’t know about you, but a McDonald’s breakfast always says vacation to me. It’s cheap. It’s filling. And the coffee’s good. Approximate cost: $5.00

Lunch: It’s not the original location but grab a cheeseburger at the Billy Goat Tavern. Saturday Night Live made them famous with the “Cheezeborger, cheezeborger, no fries, chips” routine. Strangely enough, they now serve Pepsi. Load up at the toppings bar and take it to go. That way, you can get a cheaper and larger drink somewhere else. Approximate cost: $3.00

Dinner: The original Pizzeria Uno is marked on the trolley map by a purple square with a triangle on top. Their deep dish pizza has a buttery crust and a sour-ish tomato sauce. Order something with sausage in it. Mmm. Keep in mind that deep dish pizza is going to bake for about 45 minutes.

A fun thing to do may be to place a timed pick-up order for an individual deep dish pizza for 6:50. Head in to St. James. Then come get your pizza and take it to the MCA. Eat it on the lawn while listening to some outstanding jazz. That’s mashing a lot of Chicago together right there.

If that’s too much, the restaurant is open until 1:00 am. Approximate cost: $8.00

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I’ve been seeing tv commercials for the new The X-Files movie regularly now. Most of them are very ho-hum. It seems like they are heavily relying on the old-time fans to go just for the sake of going.

But on Saturday evening, I saw a commercial that was very Scullycentric. I’ve said before that I don’t trust the XF head honchos to understand Scullycentric storytelling. Many individual episodes, however, are very strong Scully ones. Since this movie is supposed to be stand-alone, perhaps she won’t be shuttled to the side as I would expect in a mytharc continuation.

I’m not saying that she should take over, but for the sake of all of us old-time fans, I’m hoping for a balanced attack—like the ones writer Vince Gilligan used to give us.

And if you happen to be a XF memorabilia collector still, check out Gillian Anderson’s massive script and prop auctions over at eBay.

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This is the fifth episode in my rewatch of the eight X-Files episodes that Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz have called essential viewing for the movie: the Pilot, Beyond the Sea, The Host, Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose, Memento Mori, Post Modern Prometheus, Bad Blood, and Milagro.

Of all the episodes listed here, “Memento Mori” and the “Pilot” are the only mytharc ones. Of course you can get through the “Pilot” without any prior knowledge, but I have no idea how this episode would play to new viewers who will have only seen one episode from the previous three seasons, according to this boxed set.

I tried to find a transcript of the Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz introductions from The X-Files: Revelations boxed set, but I can’t. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. People used to transcribe entire episodes and interviews. If you know where such a transcript can be found, please leave me a comment. I’m very curious about the details they wanted to set up for this episode.

I watched this episode once through, and then I ran through it again with Frank Spotnitz’s commentary from the Season 4 dvd set. For all you new XF watchers out there, listening to Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz talk is almost always going to be a mistake. Don’t go to them for additional information. They’ll only make you mad.

The plot set-up: Scully finds out she has cancer. Mulder thinks it is related to her abduction of season 2. Scully has never been sure what happened to her and does not want to confront it.

Teaser: Wow, I totally forgot about the purple prose prowess of Chris Carter until the voiceover started. As we see Scully’s x-ray, it looks very reminiscent of the ones in the “Pilot” where nasal implants played important roles.

I’m rather at a loss about what to say about this episode. The upcoming X-Files movie is not supposed to be mytharc connected. It’s going to be more of a monster stand-alone.

So while I have pages and pages of notes, I’ll just skip to the possible movie connections:

• Scully’s motherhood arc basically goes like this—
  • She’s abducted in Season 2 and has her ova harvested, but she doesn’t know this. The audience and Mulder find out about this within this episode. Scully does not. Later on (season 8?), Mulder tells Scully about her eggs and how he’s been investigating them. Somehow, Mulder and Scully end up with a son, William, who was a superbaby until something else happened, and they made him human. (Really, I gave up on the mytharc if you couldn’t tell.) They gave him up for adoption because a lot of people wanted to steal him. William would always be in danger if he stayed with his parents.
  • But also, Scully may be the natural mother of the Kurt Crawford(s), the red-headed clones/genetic hybrids in this episode.
  • Scully is the biological mother of Emily, another experimental hybrid (season 5).
  • Along the way, there have been many surrogate son/daughter figures.
• During the abduction, Scully also had a chip implanted in the back of her neck. When she took the chip out, the cancer kicked in. Later on, she puts the chip back and the cancer went away. (I think.)
• All through the episode, Mulder refuses to accept/believe in Scully’s insistence of her eventual end. His belief in her gives her the strength to believe and fight.
• Scully decides to go back to the X-Files for herself. It is no longer just Mulder’s work and Mulder’s quest. She has work to do. She has things to prove.

Notables:

• For my money, the height of Scully professional chic is season 4.
• I would talk about The Lone Gunmen except they’re dead.
• I would talk about Skinner’s deal with the Cigarette Smoking Man except the CSM is also dead.
• I singled out John Bartley’s work in my write up for “The Host.” Now I want to point out Mark Snow’s amazing contribution to the success of the series. His music set the tones right from the very start. Within this episode, there were so many scenes that were just made by his musical backing. In a story about life and death, he brought out so many moments, from the most quiet and reflective to the most active and brutal.
• Say “the hallway scene” to any Phile, and he/she will know exactly what you are talking about. It’s one of the most magical scenes in the series. The story of Memento Mori is so intertwined for Mulder and Scully, but they spend a huge part of the episode apart. Then at the end, when they finally come back together, she’s in hospital white and he’s in spy black, they reaffirm their relationship standing in the middle of the hospital hallway. Director Rob Bowman’s composition, Mark Snow’s music, the story of the four writers, and David and Gillian’s acting just mesh so beautifully for these couple of minutes.
• And without an apple box, she tucks so perfectly underneath his chin.

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